To: embryonic138@yahoo.com
From: haleyjd@hotmail.com

Subject: I hope they have email in the afterlife...

Hey Toke,

I know this will probably bounce right back at me. But man, you
gotta know somehow that every time I think about you and how
you died I still feel sad.

Five months. It's almost been half a year since I drove up to Tulsa
and went to your funeral. Five months since I wrote on your
casket how all your Doom community friends would miss you, and
five months since I told your mom how so many people cared.

It was the hardest thing I ever did in my life and I cannot forget
it. It haunts me, how youthful and whole you were, laying there.
I thought you could just sit up and say "Hey". I wished for it. I
wished that it was just a nightmare. Just some kind of joke, like
the kind you oft liked to play on us in #zdoom.

Why you? Many people have the same accident and live. It
definitely wasn't fair, man. You had too much going for you for
it to end like that. If anyone ever deserved a second life, you
do my friend.

I wish that you could come back to us just one last time and let
us know how you are. I wish that we could close the open
chapters and say our goodbyes. Alas this cannot happen. I must
trust that somehow, if you do indeed go on, you know this, and
perhaps even that you can touch our lives still in some subtle
way.

I certainly never knew while you were alive that I would be so
affected by your death, but it has shaken me to the core and
made me reevaluate many things. By no measure were we
close friends, but we were friends, and we did have the
opportunity, however short, to try to work together. I wish our
project had seen some light; I think it could have done well.
Know that I am still sorry I didn't put in more support to make it
happen. Had I known how things would go then, I know I would
have had far different priorities.

I've cried many tears and said my bit. I know you cannot write me
back, but I will save this message forever, and I believe that you
will know it somehow, somewhere. 

Your friend for eternity,

James "Quasar" Haley